About the following post: my mom and my husband have convinced me that a two-year-old screaming about having to leave the pool is not such a huge deal. It was the end of a long day, and I was feeling overwhelmed. Today I'm feeling good about having heard two new words in one day.
For the first time today, I took G. to the pool. i had taken J. and G. to the neighborhood playground, not realizing that our pool had opened today. They both ran to the fence and stuck their faces through, staring at the people in the pool.
Last year, during the summer of realizing all was not well, I never got my nerve up to try taking a two-year-old and a one-year-old to the pool (not to mention all three of them). This year I feel it's going to be possible (two at a time, as long as one of them is J.) We had a lot scrambling around looking for swim diapers and pool shoes, and headed out.
G. loved it from the start. He splashed around, and smiled at our neighbor who was splashing alongside him. We stayed in the baby pool, I don't think I could have managed it otherwise. G. tried two new words in one day, which never happens: splash and pool. He ventured off on his own a little, coming back each time to sit in my lap. We were there for almost an hour, with both of them perfectly content.
After I had marveled at how well it was all going, I tried getting them out of the pool. J. was stubborn but managed not to have a tantrum. Despite being the NT brother, he's been the most tantrum-prone until just recently. G. started to scream as soon as he realized we were leaving, and kept it up almost continuously for 20 minutes, until I finally got him in the door of our house. I had taken them there in the stroller, so we provided a screaming spectacle for all the pool patrons for our entire walk home. Our next door neighbor came out to see what was happening. I'm not sure if he knows what's up with the twins, but this may have given him an inkling.
I'm trying to focus on how much he loved the pool, and how happy we all were in the water. But I'm so discouraged by how hard it was to leave. I know that I've been lucky so far...I'd read about other kids' tantrums in public and wondered if that was in our future. Apparently it is, and I'm going to have to develop a thick(er) skin. Last week we also had a huge meltdown in the grocery store. That one involved J. crying, which made G. plug his ears and start his own yelling to block out J's noise. Luckily B. was blissfully unaffected. I decided I would stand there in the bakery department until it blew over, and it worked. I may not try taking all three of them to the store again for quite a while.
I'm telling myself it's the terrible two's combined with autism, and thinking that once the boys can communicate more, the screaming will decrease. I really, really hope this is right!