The Fake Hip

My mom (that's her with G. in the photo) is doing well with her new hip (or fake hip, as my nephew calls it). She's already walking down the hallway with a walker. When I talk to her on the phone, she sounds great. Today she moved to the rehabilitation hospital, where she stays for a week or so.

I think I am coming out of my mini-depression, or whatever I've been in. Setting up all the private therapy has had me wound up, and trying to find some kind of nursery school experience for the twins has added to the strain.

Reasons I feel better:

1. We have a new Early Intervention therapist. This is the first one for whom it's a physical impossibility that I'm old enough to be her mom, which is refreshing. Even better, she has experience working with children with autism...hallelujah!

2. B. says the alphabet through "G" (every once in a while, when the mood strikes him).

3. The private OT and Speech are all set, and I like the therapists.

4. I've stopped crying every time I see a certain Suburu commercial. I don't know what that was about, but it was weird!

We are still having some serious issues (J. is having real jealousy problems, etc), but we are doing okay.

Haven't heard anything about the MRI

Thank you for all the supportive comments. It really helps. I did send an email to the doctor, but she has not responded.

Strangely, we had a really nice weekend. I just can't let myself believe that anything really bad is going on, so I'm in serious denial mode. We took all the boys to Petco, without a stroller, which was a first. My husband had B., who isn't interested in looking at all the animals, but does like to jog around the store. I had J. and G., both of whom are very interested in the fish and the birds, so we did well. I kept wondering how my husband was doing with B., and then I'd hear a loud "Zubadee, zubadoo!", which is one of the "jargon" phrases that B. likes to say when he's very happy.

This morning I took B. and J. to church with me. As J. later reported to me, "Him just cry a little". B. even sat at the table for snack, so the morning was a success. When I went out to the playground to pick the boys up, B. was up on the play structure, looking very pleased with himself. G. stayed home and napped, because he had woken up at five saying "Ah-doo! Ah-doo!", which means all done with sleeping, apparently.

I figure, if we are going to find out that the MRI doesn't show serious problems, then I won't need to have worried. And if there is a real problem, then it's good that we had a weekend together of enjoying ourselves before we start dealing with it.

Feeling Optimistic/ Autism vs. the Easter Bunny

This morning I woke up feeling optimistic about the whole situation. As far as I know, nothing in particular has changed (although G. did come back out of his no talking/no signing stage, which was, as always, a huge relief).

Anyway, I just have the feeling that things will be alright. I spoke to my "autism mom mentor" this past weekend, and she gave me a lot of encouragement. Her son was never as delayed as the twins are, but she thinks he was more distant and aloof. Now he's doing very well although of course he's still on the spectrum. Part of her advice to me was not to worry about money for the next year or two, and get all the therapy we possibly can. My husband is always more laid back about money than I am, so I'm lucky in that way. The last few days I've put a lot of my energy into sensory integration--learning about how to do the brushing protocol, and ordering a swing which we can hang in a doorway. Since we've put a little climbing structure in our backyard, B. has been so happy! He has stopped biting his hand, and I suspect it may be because he now has the outlet of climbing. I'd like to get him something to climb on inside, but right now he settles for hanging off the back of the couch. One of the reasons I love our current OT is that she gets so excited about B.'s climbing or even about his sitting on the arm of our rocking chair. She is always able to see strengths in him that I so need to hear about right now.

G. said his first three-syllable word today. It was "Tortoro", the name of a character in a Japanese children's movie that a friend gave us. It's funny, he'd only said two or three words all day (although he has been signing a lot), and then suddenly he was saying "Tortoro......Tortoro" very quietly.

Next week we have B's MRI. I'll stay home with the other two boys, and my husband will take him. I wish I could go, but we couldn't find anyone who could come over early enough to babysit. A few weeks later, G. will have his MRI, and we can both go to that one. I'm not expecting that there is anything wrong in their brains, but the devl. pediatrician said they have strangely-shaped heads. They were monoamniotic twins, meaning that their cords were tangled throughout the entire pregnancy, so things have been unusual from the beginning. For three weeks we believed that they were conjoined, and someday I plan to blog about that crazy period of our lives.

Oh, the second part of the title of this post refers to a comment we got recently. I didn't actually hear it. A friend of mine was with B. at a playspace when a man and his son joined them. The son really wanted to play with B., and B. was happily ignoring him. My friend mentioned that B. has autism, and the dad said, "Oh, I don't believe in any of that!", along with a few comments about everyone having a diagnosis these days, etc. When my friend told me, for some reason it struck me as funny (If an in-law of mine had said it, I'd be outraged.) It hadn't occurred to me that I could choose not to believe in autism. Is it like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny? Even if that were true, I'd keep believing in it, because it helps me understand the odd, funny, loveable ways of my twins.

For some reason, this got me wondering about what Tom Cruise and Scientology think of autism. I'll have to Google it.

My new attitude about blogging is that I am going to try to stop being intimidated by the blogs which strike me as so well-written and wise and the type of thing which could actually be turned into a book someday. I feel my style is more of a stream-of-consciousness, sleep-deprived, I'm-trying-to-ignore-the Heffalump-sounds-coming-from-my-older-son's-room style. It does feel therapeutic to blog, and it's definitely very helpful to read other autism parents' blogs and comments.

Starting out

One or two people have suggested I start a blog, so I'm giving it a shot. The short version of what I'm doing is recording a log of our family's journey through PDD. We have 25 month old twins who have some version of PDD, although they're still undiagnosed. We also have an older son (almost three) who is a fantastic brother, and a real character himself.

The name of the blog comes from the Wiggles' DVD "Hoop Dee Doo Dance Party". We've been watching it a lot lately. It's has a sixties-style psychedelic feel to it, and it sums up my mental state at this point. Nothing is what I expected it to be, so what the hell, let's have a Hoop Dee Doo dance party.

I've been reading other families' autism blogs every night lately. I find it so helpful to see what other people have been through...how they've coped, and the progress their kids have made. And, most importantly, seeing so many bloggers who have held on to their optimism and senses of humor.

Having never blogged, I'm not sure of what level of detail to go into, how personal to get, etc. I think the whole concept of blogs is so cool, I'll just play it by ear and see how it goes.

Our oldest boy is making strange animal-like noises from his room. He's someone who REALLY needs a nap, so I'll ignore it for a little while, since he sounds pretty happy.