Gardening, goofing off and autism

Too busy to blog!

2012-02-17T10:00:00.000-08:00

I was looking back at the blog archives and realized I used to post a lot more than now. I would pay so much attention to each word the twins said, or especially to anything they stopped doing. That was such an intense time. Well, it's still an intense time, but I feel more sure of who the twins are. I always used to be looking for a clue that they'd turn out high-functioning. Oh, those words... "high-functioning"! They were like Harvard or Yale, or "gifted and talented". Now I feel like I know they have a lot in there, but I also feel pretty sure they will need a lot of help throughout their lives. "High-functioning" has been replaced in my mind with "toilet-trained and able to communicate what they have to say". Now I think i'm more able to enjoy their quirkiness, and less apt to see everything as a clue to what they'll be like as adults (on the good days, anyway).

Going to get them early today, to use the IPad and IPod. Would like them to be able to use the IPad at school, but that's a whole other can of worms.

One more thing

2011-12-11T18:21:00.000-08:00

My husband and I both thought we might have heard B. say "Mommy" today in the car. Which would be a first!

Articulation sneaking up on you

2011-12-11T06:14:00.001-08:00

Sometime between last Christmas and this Christmas, B. can sing songs with perfectly recognizable words. It struck me when I heard "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"' turned around looking for G., and found myself looking at B. How could that clear little voice be coming out of B? When did this happen?They both are so musical, and it is such a joy. My husband, who has a harder time dealing with the twins' autism, has been takinf B. to a guitar store to try out instruments. There is an employee who also has two boys with autism, and apparently he's very understanding. My husband looks so happy when they come home from those outings. He's planning to get the boys a drum set for Christmas. I'm very glad they've found this common ground. Not so excited about the drum set, but I'll live with it.Well, this started out being about articulation, but it's all related. Music therapy, for kids and grown-ups.

2011-12-01T13:18:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine moved from here to Connecticut for the autism services. She had refused to send her daughter to our district and homeschooled her.

In CT,. her daughter has a full time aide trained in ABA, an IPad with ProLoQuo2Go on it, and is in inclusion 12 hours a week. I may have to stop reading her emails!!

I am trying to be mature about this but I feel jealous!

Let's Get Physical

2011-10-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be our second Saturday of Special Olympics bowling. I think what I like most about it is that it's purely for the kids. No discussion of treatment, cure, progress and so forth. Just fun.

2011-10-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

If anyone is actually reading this blog (other than my sisters, who only comment in emails... which is fine, by the way), I have to recommend TeachTown.

It's Discrete Trial Training, so limited in that way. On the other hand, if you have a child who is hard to motivate to do work, it could be just the thing. G. is working up a storm, although he still wishes it were YouTube.

Parent/Teacher conference

2011-09-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I met with the twins' teacher this morning. It may or may not have been smart to have had two big cups of coffee and a Sudafed before driving to the school. That's not my recipe for getting high, it's just my normal coffee intake plus a little allergy problem I'm having. I only take half a dose of Sudafed because it makes me feel as if I'm hovering a few feet off the ground.

Anyway, I brought about eight of the file folder games I've been talking about, our IPad and a box of Oreos, in case the teacher wanted me to demonstrate what either twin can do in the presence of the right sandwich cookie. Their teacher greeted me and mentioned in the first ten minutes that she has ADHD and has been having hot flashes. Between the two of us it was a pretty hyper and disjointed conversation.

It started out with her saying how surprised they were when one morning G. did an alphabet puzzle all by himself. What the what? Here we go again, I thought. So I pulled out my file folders and gave her the Oreos, and now I'm just hoping that G. does me proud and actually shows some of what he can do.

There was more chit-chat, but the gist of the meeting was that the twins can do more than they'll let on, and we're going to work together to get them to do some of it at school. I know this teacher means well and is very motivated, so I'm hoping for the best.

Now if I can just figure out the secret of getting B. to show what he really knows. One thing I'm trying (only with G. so far because he can use the computer mouse ):
"Teach Town Basics"

It's not cheap, but the boy can do it. If I got a touchscreen, I think B. could, too.

Autism Breakthrough in 3 Easy Steps

2011-09-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

My husband and I are always joking that we could get rich by developing the M****** (our last name here) Protocol for autism. Doesn't really matter what it would be, but if some fraction of the desperate autism parents out there got on board, we'd be set for life. Our original plan had to do with watching the Wiggles and eating Tyson Chicken Nuggets and Leggo brand chocolate chip waffles.

We never went through with it, but just lately I've been watching G and thinking maybe we should re-consider. If you've ever dabbled in all the bio-medical stuff, anytime there's a change in your child's development you can't help thinking, "Is he eating differently?, etc. Just lately G. has done so many things for me that he wouldn't have done six months ago. In the pediatricians' waiting room I showed him how to play "Twinkle, Twinkle" on a music app. He took the IPad from me and played it himself. Then he tried to play Happy Birthday, and got a lot of the notes right. He has also been doing all the things I mentioned in the last post.

So here are the possible interventions:

Huge numbers of Kroger brand mini-pancakes. Substitution of healthier-seeming, name-brand mini pancakes is unacceptable.

Excessive exposure to YouTube -- in particular a medley of The Rose, Happy Birthday and We are the World. Also endless viewings of grammar videos made by English as a Second Language websites (www.mes-english.com).
File Folder Games-- G. will do any task that I present to him as matching Velcroed things in a file folder -- numbers, words, pictures of emotions, categories of objects. This could be a passing phase, in which case I'll be stuck with a whole bunch of file folders filled with clip art images and velcro.

In all seriousness, I think a lot of the changes can be chalked up to the IPad. Being able to operate the IPad with a touchscreen has changed the world for the twins. I don't know if it's all the fine-motor practice, or an increase in confidence, but now they are trying to use the computer mouse and doing things with apps they could never have done before.

Click Here for the YouTube video with magical healing properties

2011-09-14T18:54:00.001-07:00

G. was home with pink eye today, and I got him to do so much work! Despite liking the new teacher initially, we are back to the old problem of no one realizing a fraction of what the twins, especially G., can do.

I had lunch with the twins, and the aide was flabberghasted that they could use complete sentences to make requests.

Time to send in the old DVD of G. working with me when he was four, saying words, letters, letter sounds and so on. It is starting to seem ridiculous. There he is with his old orange sippy cup, doing all sorts of stuff he won't do for them in first grade.

I am on a secret mission. Posting my plan here does not stop it from being secret. One advantage to having so few blog readers. The plan is to make videos of the twins doing tons of work. Today G. matched shape names to shapes, number words to numerals, the names of animals to pictures and more. He navigated around the PBS Kids website with the mouse, and talked me into watching a YouTube video on present continuous verbs.

My mission is still a little vague. Once I make all the movies proving that the twins can speak, use the IPad, etc., what will I do next? We will still be living in Texas, in a school district that hasn't even bought any IPads yet. Well, I'll start on step one, and maybe the next part of the plan will become clear to me. I'll get a lot of satisfaction out of it, in any case.

Artsy paint splotches or stubborn autism-related stain?

2011-09-08T13:21:00.000-07:00

I'm still deciding on this new template background. Sometimes it looks too much like a few surfaces in my house that just won't come clean, even with the "Magic Eraser" sponge. Hmmmm.

More good news

2011-09-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

Today I dropped by the school (unannounced) to have lunch with the boys. When I stopped by the twins' room, their teacher said, "Look at this" and pointed to G. He was sitting at a study carrell, working all on his own. No aide, no ABA therapist holding a tiny piece of Oreo. He was just working for the sake of working!

Also, they said that during calendar time, G. had suddenly said, "Break time" (something they have been having the twins request with a voice output device). It was the first time he'd said it, so they let him take a break. I bet he'll learn that skill pretty quickly!

There are a few issues with ratios and also communication between school and home, but G's working without needing a reward is wiping that out of my mind for the moment.

Another good teacher

2011-08-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

It may be time to exhale, relax, and stop waking up at 4 AM feeling panicky. We have a new teacher again this year, but I think she's another good one. The twins actually seem happier in the afternoons this year, which is an encouraging sign. Last year G. used to hide in his bed and have to be coaxed out.

The twins are back at their home campus, which makes big brother J. extremely proud. I also get to hear snippets of their day from him. For example, last week the Cookie Dough Fundraiser assembly was briefly halted so G. could leave. Apparently he kept getting louder and louder. I think it must have been one of those assemblies where they try to whip up a lot of enthusiasm by yelling into a microphone.

This weekend at the pool, B. kept yelling out something that sounded like, " COOKIE DOUGH! Hey, what??" over and over. Our favorite lifeguard, who is fascinated by the twins, is sure that B. is ready to get out there and sell.

And, luckily, despite the yelling, and having to stop school assemblies, J. still says he is "super proud" to have the twins at his school.

2011-08-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Found the (so far) perfect pajamas:

www.littlekeepersleeper.com

It is such a simple product, but it has really improved my quality of life a LOT!

2011-07-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

Right now, everything is about toilet training, and I do not feel like blogging about it.

Although if anyone can recommend pajamas which absolutely cannot be stripped off, please let me know.

So far, so good

2011-06-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

The ABA-less summer is proceeding fine. So far we are all about toilet-training and going to the pool. Unfortunately combining those two things is not necessarily so great. I think of taking the twins to the pool as "swim diaper roulette". We haven't been banned from any pools, but that may be because of lifeguard cluelessness. Enough on that topic.

J. is having a mixed summer-- the days are going okay, but in the evening he is falling back into some old behavior issues. I think he keeps a lot of frustration about life with the twins inside, and when it's too much, he unleashes it toward my husband and me. In the daytime he is usual creative and funny self.

One night lately I managed to sneak out and meet another local autism mom. We talked so late they closed the restaurant before we'd realized it (we were on the patio). She is trying hard to move to the Northeast and says she refuses to send her daughter to Texas schools. I will miss her if they move, but I understand wanting to get somewhere with more services. I've actually been avoiding support groups lately, but a support group of two was probably what we had both been needing.

To ABA or not to ABA?

2011-05-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

In the last few months before we quit ABA, our insurance suddenly deigned to cover a fraction of it. Now the therapy center is asking us if we'd like to come back for some hours this summer. Ahhh, the joy of deciding how much and what therapy to get!

To be honest, I haven't seen any big regressions since we quit ABA. Also, the twins qualified for 18 days of Extended Year Services (that's the most you can get, so I am happily surprised). Right now, there isn't even a little part of me that wants to take them back to the ABA center although I do miss the therapists. Am I denying them something that might help them? My gut says no, but who knows?

The alternative summer plan:
They will be getting many, many hours of aquatic therapy (aka floating around in the neighborhood pool with Mom). Also ample opportunity to use technical interfaces (IPad), and various community outings (Target, Walmart, Kroger). They will have access to an embarrassingly large library of children's books (my shopping weakness) and opportunities for play in inclusive groups (the neighbors' children and their big brother). We will be working on trying new foods, using the toilet (God willing) and staying clothed.

Even to myself I sound defensive, but we'll see how it goes.

Keys to the Universe, a la Susan Senator

2011-05-12T11:53:00.000-07:00

In homage to Susan Senator's occasional lists of what really makes her happy, here are some of my keys to the universe:

1. a planned trip to see my parents, my sisters, my nephew and my dog-nephews

2. newly-discovered Chai tea bags

3. watching 30 Rock DVD's with my husband after all the boys are in bed

4. watching Dancing with the Stars with my oldest son

5. spring rolls from Pho 21

6. painting the bathroom with the radio cranked up

7. walking on the abandoned golf course in our neighborhood

8. going swimming with B. and watching him teach himself to swim

9. sitting out on the deck after dark while G. marches around singing his Christmas song medley

That is a very satisfying exercise. It's a good antidote to compulsively going over my worries in my head! I am going to make these lists more often.

B gets lost...and how to trust that it won't happen again?

2011-05-05T05:56:00.000-07:00

This Monday we went on a field trip to the Houston Zoo. It was a beautiful day, and we had a great time (although the twins aren't at the point of being very interested in the actual animals yet).

At the very end, in a huge crowd of Houston schoolchildren waiting for buses, a paraprofessional spaced out, and Brendan disappeared. I had G., and I walked up to the group of aides, and asked, "Where's B.?" They hadn't noticed he wasn't there. Next came fifteen minutes of running around like a mad woman, asking the zoo officials to close the zoo gates, and saying to random people, "If you see an autistic-looking boy in a blue shirt, grab him". The teacher had stayed back at the school, so I had to take charge of the situation.

Despite all these years of private therapy, public education, etc., the twins have no sense of danger, and no sense of the need to stay with a group. They might respond to their names in a quiet setting, but definitely not outdoors in a crowd. Luckily, a para found him standing in the gift shop. We still don't know exactly how it happened--he was sitting in a wagon, and the para thought he was buckled in.

Today we are going on another field trip, to a boardwalk, which is right next to Galveston Bay. I almost stayed home with both of them, but I can't keep them home from everything. Letting my guys go off to school, on trips, etc. requires so much trust of people I don't really know very well. I don't know how to balance worry/caution with trust. It's written into both boys' IEP's that they will run off, and I'm trying to think of other precautions we could take (including getting B. a service dog). With J., their big brother, I don't have any of these concerns. I need to find a way of trusting in aides, teachers and fate more than I do right now.

On the other hand...

2011-04-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

J. had a different friend over the other day, and i was appalled! B. was sitting in a chair on the deck, looking around at the trees, as he often does. I overheard our neighbor's son saying, "He's so boring!" J. just laughed nervously. Then the little boy said, "Make him scream again!" I think he was talking about the happy shouts that B. tends to make when he's jumping around the house. J. was at a loss and just looked at me. I was so disappointed in this boy's attitude, but I tried to think to myself that he's nervous around B., and doesn't understand what's going on. So I did my best to explain autism in a few sentences, but I couldn't tell if it made much impression. I was so annoyed by the whole interaction. I don't know the boy's parents well, but I know the dad is always very kind toward the twins, and invited us to join a camping group he's in. I think I'll ask the dad to talk to his son about it.

Afterward I talked with J., and said there will always be some kids who don't know much about autism, and if he wants, I'll explain things to any of his friends. J. seemed much less concerned about it than I was. Looking back, I'm realizing that the rest of J's friends are amazingly accepting about the twins. Our next door neighbors have a daughter with developmental delays, so between our two houses there's a lot of happy shouting, partially-clad escape attempts, and toilet-training mayhem. To live on our street is to have at least some understanding of six year olds with special needs!

I think it was good to have a wake up call that there will be rude questions and clueless comments from kids J's age, and I need to think up some strategies to deal with them. To me the twins are so adorable, I can't imagine anyone saying anything mean about them, but it is going to happen.

Thanks for noticing

2011-04-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

J., my oldest son, had a friend sleep over last night. His friend is an only child and is always surprised by the reality of our household. With the candor of a seven-year-old, he has suggested a few times that I clean up the house more often. He also reports the twins' escapades to me in a panick=y voice at frequent intervals. It's usually along the lines of "B. is naked!", "G. is on the kitchen counter!" or "B. is jumping on the IPad!". Actually those are all actual quotes from last night.

This morning, while B. and my husband were still sleeping, I took J, G and J's friend out to the kolache and donut shop. We got our treats and sat at a table to eat. After we'd been there a while, J's friend said, "Hey, Greg is doing really well!"

That warmed my heart so much. For one thing, J's friend is getting some perspective on the whole situation. And, he was right, G. was doing really well.

Potty Training Update

2011-04-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

Well, apparently I am backing off on the potty training once again. Although we were focusing on G., it was B. who made some improvement. G. just became stressed, aggressive, and started saying, "Sleep? Sleep?" in the middle of the afternoon, hoping I'd put a pull-up on him and put him to bed.

I know that some day, G will use the bathroom. He can wait hours and hours, he can ask for what he needs and he can go when he decides he's ready. We just need to change the location of where he likes to go or actually, HE needs to change the location of where he likes to go.

On a related note, a Hoover SteamVac should be arriving at our house in 3 to 5 business days, and boy is it going to be busy!

Galveston

2011-04-11T12:18:00.000-07:00

Since our first family beach trip last year, we've resolved to go down more often, especially in the off times. No one in our family likes a big crowd, but we all love the surf and an empty-as-possible beach. So, this past Saturday we packed up and headed back down to Galveston.

If you are used to New England beaches, it's a bit of an adjustment. To me it doesn't seem as clean, and there's no zoning, so the development on Galveston isn't exactly quaint or charming. On the other hand, you find a nice cross-section of the local poplulation on the beach, with a fun, multi-lingual, multi-cultural feel.

It was very grey and very windy. The boys loved the waves, which seemed a lot bigger than usual. Afterwards we went out to Mooyah Burger, which everybody liked or tolerated really well. When we go out and have such a normal family day, it's a really great feeling.

Church for All!

2011-03-30T20:15:00.001-07:00

Oh, I'm so excited! I'm talking to some other people from my church about having a special needs class next year, at least one or two times a month. We've got some boys/young men with moderate autism, a young man with Angelman Syndrome and another young man with Down Syndrome who don't really have anywhere to go during church. They end up in the infant room, which is okay, but not really the best for any of them.

We are thinking about music, sensory activities, crafts (not my idea, but okay), bubbles and so forth.

Inclusion is wonderful, some of the time, but sometimes the opposite of inclusion is even better (well, not exclusion, but you know what I mean).

Potty training, and I mean it this time!

2011-03-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

As the twins begin to out-grow any standard pull-ups except the overnight huge ones, the time has come to get serious. We are trying an underwear-only, use the potty every thirty minutes approach. Well, not every thirty minutes for both of them or I'd be totally nuts by now. But we are really doing it with G., who up til now has specialized in waiting seventeen hours to go and then flooding himself and anyone nearby.

And, despite his complete lack of interest, an even smellier house, and tons and tons of carpet cleaner and wet towels, Greg is occasionally going in the potty! He would prefer to hide in a closet, or wait til bedtime when he finally gets a pull-up, but for the first time in his life he is sometimes sitting down on the toilet and actually going.

It's only been two weeks or so, and I foresee many months of this, but it is progress and I am so happy.

Functioning -- high and low and in-between

2011-02-22T07:20:00.000-08:00

Overall, I think my mood is pretty good these days. But one thing can still sucker-punch me... other autistic kids seem to progress so fast! I hear people refer to their child as low-functioning or autistic or delayed, and they can do so much more than the twins. This is not what it's cool to blog about. I realize, but I don't have too many readers, so the pressure is off, to some extent.

One thing that works for this mood is to go the blogs of parents with children with much more serious medical or cognitive disabilities. I feel strange saying that, but it is a sure way to help me appreciate the positives in my life. Another thing that really helps is looking at a picture of Greg trying a hamburger.

Gardening

2011-02-12T16:18:00.000-08:00

Now that I have all three boys in school full-time (pause here for a sniffle), I find myself trying to re-claim my old self or possibly discover some aspects of a new self. I feel like I'm trying to re-group. I've been donating a LOT of stuff to Goodwill, which makes me very happy. I've also been doing some planting. In my windowsill I have basil, thyme, lavender and rosemary. I've bought some seeds to try growing micro-greens. Outside I've got Texas Sage and phlox of some kind.

I haven't come up with any plan for how to earn money while still being home to get the boys off their buses. I haven't done the "Determination of Mental Retardation" appointment which might get us some services. I haven't made any nifty DVD's for video modeling.

Right now I'm getting rid of old stuff and growing a few new plants and watching old episodes of Community, and that is going to have to do for the time being! Not a bad way to spend some time.

PS That's not actually my Texas sage in the photo. That's what my Texas Sage dreams of being one day far in the future.

At the Movies!

2011-02-10T12:45:00.000-08:00

I'm just back from a field trip to the movie theater to watch Tangled with the twins' class (and the two other self-contained classes from their school). There is something freeing about seeing a movie with only special needs kids and their teachers in the theater. At times it reminded me of the old midnight showings of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"-- a lot of audience participation and talking back to the characters on the screen. When Rapunzel had Flynn locked in a wardrobe, one boy kept yelling, "Open the door!" Nobody minded, and luckily she did finally open the door.

I'm happy and surprised that the twins made it through the whole thing. The last twenty minutes or so Greg started asking, "Down? Down? Down?", but dealt with it when we didn't take him out. Then he limited himself to an occasional call of "Wait, Elmo!" for the rest of the movie. B. drank three sodas --his, G's and mine-- and then actually waited through the whole movie til we got to the restroom. More than I could have done, that's for sure. Maybe this will inspire me to try more movies with them although I'm not ready to try it on my own yet (if ever).

2011-01-25T12:54:00.000-08:00

Just putting this in here to remind myself of my pledge to take more pictures. Not that this idea will go over well with the twins...

Then there are some people who don't mind at all!

Brothers acting like brothers!

2011-01-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

I just wrote a depressing post about how G. used to use language in a more social way back when he was two. But I decided not to hit "publish". Now he comes up to me and puts his hands on my cheeks, or presses his nose into my face and inhales lovingly. So what's to complain about really?

Also, on the big news front, B. has decided that his big brother is funny. If J. hops into B's bed, or gives him a bear hug, or better yet, lies down on top of him, B. gets a fit of the giggles. It doesn't always work, but when it does, it is such a joy to see! They'll wrestle around and laugh, until it usually ends with B. getting over-excited and grabbing his brother by the throat. That doesn't sound so great, but it's meant in a loving way, I"m pretty sure.

It's so nice that things like this can come up and surprise you, even if you have to wait til they turn six. I think of myself back in my desperate Floortime days--trying so hard to get them to do pretend play or interact with each other. So many things just have to happen in their own time. As frustrating as that sometimes is!

Even keel

2011-01-11T13:08:00.000-08:00

B. seems to be doing okay with this kindergarten thing. He doesn't like the cafeteria, but who would? I've been picking him up early, to help him ease in. Right now he's talking in what sounds like paragraphs of babble or some language I don't know. I may be imagining it, but I feel as if he's talking to himself more since we quit ABA.

Every once in a while I feel a jolt of surprise when I realize both the twins are in the kind of class I used to teach, with a very low ratio and goals like putting their lunch boxes away (along with some loftier things, too.) Most of the time it seems normal, and I'm so, so glad that this year we have a teacher who says things like, "They are both so smart, we just have to learn how to work with them". I'll just let last year's teacher fade into a distant memory!

My mom is home, and continuing to improve. So right now things are good, although I do miss seeing as much of the twins as I used to.

Starting Kindergarten

2011-01-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, Mommy needs a drink, or a massage, or a Valium, or something! I'm taking deep breaths, going to my happy place, etc. This morning I dropped B. off at his self-contained kindergarten. It's the same class G. is in, so it should go fine. When I left, he was sitting in the general ed. kindergarten for calendar time. He was singing some Christmas song in a low, relatively quiet voice. He tried to stretch out on the carpet and ended up sitting in an aide's lap. I guess now he'll start coming home smelling strongly of perfume, as Greg always does.

I actually feel better about it than I thought I would. He walked into the building with a huge smile on his face. I'm picking him up early and hoping he's still smiling or at least not crying. So far, this is definitely harder for me than for him. Thank God for good teachers and aides.

Woo hoo!

2010-12-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

My dad just called and said that this morning my mom was suddenly conversational again. She told him where the Christmas tree ornaments are, and which grocery store has the chicken nuggets that the twins like.

Keep the faith!

Strange parallels

2010-12-18T19:11:00.000-08:00

Recently my mom was in a one-car accident, which caused what was essentially a stroke. When she first woke up, she seemed very alert and able to converse. Since then she has talked less and less, and now comes out with occasional clear sentences every day.

As I talk to my dad, who is there with her, I keep being struck by the similarities with my first years that I knew the twins had autism. They would say something, and then not talk for weeks at a time. It was a kind of torture.

I don't really know if it's true, but I told my dad that I believe my mom still has it all inside her. Right now her body is working on another part of her recovery-- she's getting a lot of physical and occupational therapy. Maybe that's taking all of her brain power right now.

One thing I've found, even though the twins still don't talk much, is that it's ALL still in there. They still know what they used to know, and much, much more. And I'm pretty sure that my mom does, too. It's another situation that calls for more patience than I ever thought I had. Hopefully we'll go back to making progress soon, but meanwhile don't look too far ahead, and find joy in every little good thing that happens.

IPad!

2010-11-19T12:04:00.001-08:00

We have a new IPad and we are loving it! Both twins can use it, although it's a little easier for G. than B., as far as I can tell.

Met with the school psychologist today, and she is going to look into a grant that might give them some IPad funds.

I enjoy watching the kids use the IPad, but so far the only app I've used much is an Air Hockey game. I play it on the kiddie level, when I try to move up to the "Easy" level, I lose very, very fast.

Time to relax

2010-11-09T07:57:00.001-08:00

Things are going better at school. I don't know why, but he's not screaming, not scratching, and back to his smiling self. Phew.

Also, he counted to 25 on an abacus yesterday. That's the kind of note a mom wants to get from school!

School district sues special needs family

2010-11-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

Wonder why parents in Texas don't demand better services?

2010-11-07T08:40:00.000-08:00

File under cuteness

2010-10-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

I have to get a movie of this following, but taking movies is not my thing. B. just figured out how to turn on the spray nozzle attachment on the garden hose. I set it on "mist" and he tries to drink it.

Today, every once in a while, he would turn it on and say, "Ah-choo!" It was the funniest thing. I've only heard him say "ah-choo" one other time, when he had just sneezed. When they hardly ever say things spontaneously, it always seems so surreal when they do!

The other thing, cute but also downright amazing, was that yesterday I'm almost certain he said, "Juice box empty". An adjective! An adjective that hasn't been on Signing Time or Baby Einstein or anything!!

Just have to brag, when you get a chance.

The good, the bad, etc., etc.

2010-10-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

First the good: J. is now riding his bike with no training wheels! It makes me so sentimental watching him. His bony legs stick out to the side, and he sits up so tall. You can just feel the pride coming out of him. He's also enjoying karate-- his teacher is a wonderful, patient man.

And for the not-so-good: Despite the new, oh-so-promising teacher, G. seems completely stressed out by his self-contained kindergarten. He has started the angry pinching which B. used to do during his brief stint in public school

This class, or one just like it, is all our district offers. I'm thinking maybe the boys can go to school in the morning, and I'll home-school in the afternoon. G's teacher says he spends a lot of time covering his eyes or his ears, and just recently, pinching the teachers. Maybe he'll adjust?

Now, back to the good: B. is still singing up a storm. Recently it's been a lot of Christmas songs, with a few counting songs mixed in (Five Little Ducks, Five Elephants, etc). He is so sweet doing it that I can't resist putting on a Christmas CD in the car. It's been in the upper eighties, but B. and I are driving along singing "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time". Works for us!

Open House

2010-09-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

Last night was G's Open House at school. We were the only family who showed up for his special needs class ("Alternative Academics"), and I imagine it was enough for the teacher. B. explored the room thoroughly, pried some circles up which were taped to the floor, sucked red paint off of a paintbrush and generally made himself at home. He may join this class in January, which I hope, hope, hope and pray will go better than his last try at school (lots of crying and previously un-seen aggression).

Also in the picture is our life-saving helper who has been with us since the twins were six months old.

2010-09-13T20:01:00.001-07:00

Things continue to go well at school, and they've even added an aide without my requesting one (!) We ran into her in the public library this weekend, and she seems very nice.

The only remarkable thing about today was an unfortunate poop-ocalypse, as my husband would call it. It started out so sweet, with B. coming all the way downstairs to hand me a little CD player, with the nicest smile. He has been getting more assertive about requesting things, so I was tickled. Then I thought to myself, what is that on the tip of his nose?, and it was downhill from there. I felt bad that he looked so crestfallen as I cleaned him and many other things up. That is one pair of Transformers underwear which he will never wear again!

This is too much information, but my husband is out of town, and I am tired and the boys keep waking up at 4 AM. On the other hand, it was his first accident of the day, and what's a little--okay, a whole lot-- of poop when other things are going well?

Hooray for good teachers and off for a lunch date

2010-09-03T08:43:00.001-07:00

After a slow start, I've been getting a lot of communication from Greg's new teacher. Not only can they get him to do work, they don't even have to use re-inforcers. What?? The main problem seems to be his "flopping" as she calls it, so they have him help with lots of errands. I wish I could be a fly on the wall. Oh, and the other problem is that he falls asleep in the afternoons. Maybe all the errands wear him out.

Now I'm off to have lunch in the school cafeteria with J (big brother). It's funny, because he doesn't talk much to me when I'm there, but it makes him SO happy when I show up to eat with him. Simple pleasures (except for the actual food they serve).

Day Two

2010-08-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

Today's comment from the possibly-very-good teacher was, "Today Greg did not want to come into the classroom. He got off the bus, but sat down in the hall outside the room. He stayed with the group more today". I'm staying positive, I'm staying positive, I'm staying positive. It's not that I mind that he sat down in the hall, it's just that I'd think maybe something good and worth mentioning happened. Something a little more inspiring than staying with the group more.

I didn't know what to think of this, so emailed the teacher to ask for more details. Haven't heard back, but at about 5:00 I realized G. had a fever of 101 degrees! I have to admit, I selfishly thought "Ooh, I get to have him home tomorrow"

Meanwhile, B. had ABA in the morning, and then we mall-walked to escape the heat. As usual, we made many side trips into stores selling sparkly or metallic things. We had a fun, psychedelic time in Spencer Gifts looking at all the colored lights.

The tables are turned!

2010-08-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

For the last two years, I have pleaded for a "daily note" from the special ed. teacher, letting me know what and how G. does at school. I did finally get one for about three and a half months, although other kids in the class never did.

Well, this year, I get a taste of my own medicine. The special ed teacher this year is very organized. Every morning I have to fill out a form stating how many hours G slept, what and how much he had for breakfast, and choose from a checklist of about ten moods to describe his early morning behavior. There is an "other" category, so I'm entertaining myself thinking up more moods I could fill in. "disaffected", "optimistic, but with a twinge of foreboding", etc. But, seriously, I am in awe of this woman and can't believe she works for the same district as G's previous teacher.

Although, for her comment yesterday, she just wrote, "G. is adjusting to kindergarten", which is kind of mysterious.

Gesundheit

2010-08-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

B, the much more silent one of the twins, has surprised us a couple of times this summer by saying "Bless you!" when someone sneezes.
One time he even said it to me after I handed him a cup of milk.
Of course, this leads to everyone fake sneezing in hopes of him saying it again.
As convincing as we think we are, we have not fooled him once.

A new teacher and some exciting signs of hope

2010-08-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

Greg will be heading off to Kindergarten ("Alternative Academics"--self-contained) next week. So far, the teacher is the polar opposite of the woman he has had for the last two years. This wonderful teacher emailed and then snail-mailed a social story with photographs of the new school and his classmates. She sent home two long forms for me to fill out about how he learns, what he likes, etc. I actually feel teary thinking about this. I've sat in so many meetings trying to explain how he learns and what motivates him, and finally the teacher is actually interested, and even asking me for more detail.

We visited the school last week, and he skipped around taking in all the bulletin boards, alphabet displays, and so on. I almost had to physically drag him out of the library. When we got to the door of his room I told him, "This will be your classroom this year" and he quietly said, "Bye-bye". I think he was telling me I could go, but it might have been that he was ready for us both to leave. In any case, he was very interested in seeing the whole school and especially his room. Mrs. K., the new teacher, asked me all kinds of questions about him, and seemed entertained by him in the way that a proud, nervous mom wants a teacher to be.

So I'm cautiously optimistic... I'm sure the year will hold its challenges. But It's so good to be feeling a little hum of hope about school this time around.

Did he just say that?

2010-07-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

I had written a longer version of this post, but managed to destroy it somehow.

The upshot is, yesterday I think i heard G. say an original sentence-type of thing. He can memorize sections of Bob the Builder episodes and reel them off with impressive feeling, but otherwise he is very stubborn about sticking to the shortest phrase possible.

After a trip to the pool, when he thought I was trying to sneak back out the door (I was actually trying to gather the pile of swim noodles and inflatable pool things we'd dropped in the driveway), G grabbed my arm and said, "Come together...(long pause)...IN!"

So, unless he's been listening to the Beatles, he made a sentence!

Sad news from Irving, TX

2010-07-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

I just read the news story about the Irving, TX woman who took the lives of her two autistic children. It's so sad... i assume she had underlying psychiatric problems already, but I can't help wonder how much sleep she was getting, how much she could get out of the house and how isolated she was. I don't mean to make excuses for her-- it's a terrible tragedy and I wish it could have somehow been prevented.

Meanwhile I feel so thankful for the support we get from so many wonderful people. First and foremost, our extended family, and also all sorts of friends, therapists and even casual acquaintances.

Resolving to take more pictures

2010-07-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

Here's one of my first attempts:

Brainstorming school ideas

2010-07-12T09:42:00.001-07:00

For the first time this year, G. is going to ESY for six weeks. His goals are things like taking off his shoes, walking from one activity to another, looking up from an activity when someone calls his name.

Meanwhile at home he is reading sight words, memorizing Dr. Suess books and trying to order us around all day long.

I've made some progress in recent IEP meetings, but I'm starting to think up a combination of public school and homeschooling that I believe could work. This fall he will be in a self-contained class with kids with all sorts of disabilities (in this district, anyone who can't be mainstreamed is stuck into the same class together, no matter the disability) I like the teacher, but I still think the focus will be on functional skills, which G. is pretty bad at. They seem to get so stuck on things like taking off your shoes that they don't have time for reading, computer skills, etc.

Meanwhile, B. is singing all day long, and actually talking a little less. I think it'll sort itself out with time. At ABA he's working on letters and numbers and many other challenging things. He's not going to public school until I get really organized and recruit a really good advocate!

And J. is as social as ever. I feel like his personal assistant, setting up playdates and pool get-togethers every day!

Spring

2010-05-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

J. is wrapping up his kindergarten year. It's hard for me to imagine I'll be the mom of a first-grader and two kindergarteners next year. That is, if we put B. back in public school. I have a good feeling about the self-contained class' teacher, so it just may happen.

One thing that is keeping me (close-to) sane this spring has been gardening. My focus is on non-toxic plants, due to our Pica issues. G. in particular sees the backyard as a grazing ground. I've planted beans, sweet peppers, lettuce, thyme, basil, mint and a jalapeno pepper plant (if anyone reading this knows that one of these plants is actually toxic, let me know!). The first day that my relatively huge basil plant was in the ground, every single leaf disappeared, and G. had unusually pungeant breath. The plant survived and is putting out some new little leaves. Maybe a wise metaphor is in there somewhere, but I'm too sleepy to try to nail it down.

We are trying to go down to Galveston this weekend for some ocean swimming. The boys are like little seals in the waves. This time I'll bring life jackets for the twins, so we can relax a little more. Last time I wouldn't let them get deeper than six inches or so. So sad about the oil spill. I hope that the attempt to cap the well works.

2010-03-18T09:38:00.000-07:00

We are still here... spending a lot of time doing potty related things. Also expanding our food repertoire (!) Grapes, rigatoni, baby spinach.
B. is still singing a lot, and occasionally coming out with a phrase, which is always a shock.
We finally got rid of G's orange sippy cup, which is making for a lot of milk puddles, but I think it's worth it. If I could get him to drink out of a straw, we'd really be sitting pretty in the drink department.

Ordered a big (twin sized) bed tent... hope it works because they are about to burst out of their cribs.

G. knocked over our Imac and made it un-useable. Hoping we can recover the hard drive with all of our photos!

J. is six now and seems like a little grown up to me sometimes. He does my "Dancing with the Stars" Latin Cardio work out with me. He is also going through an intense Junie B. Jones obsession. Not your typical kindergarten boy, but always entertaining.

Singing

2010-01-12T09:25:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but since Thanksgiving (well, that was the SeaWorld trip, and I haven't posted since then!), B. has been singing up a storm. At first it was Christmas songs. Frosty, Rudolph, and according to his therapists, even George Michael's "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart".

Now it's anyone's guess what he'll be singing. Yesterday, on a whim I had put a Signing Time CD in the car, and we were on the song I quote in my blog's sidebar, "Maybe we won't find easy, but baby we found the good". That song was such a tear-jerker for me, but I actually have come to dislike it. It reminds me of the hardest time so far in my life, the year or so after I realized the twins had autism and was floundering around about how to help.

So we had arrived at the clinic where the twins had an appointment, and I turned off the car. From the back seat I heard B's voice singing "My hands did so MUCH MORE" very loudly and clearly. It still startles me to hear him singing sometimes, and this one really got me. I never listen to Signing Time music any more, so he was remembering it from back then. Back when I wondered what he could take in, and what he was getting out of all our attempts to connect. He can remember the lyrics to a song from when he was two! To be honest, he's must have heard it a few times since then, but not much.

The twins really boggle my mind... there are so many basic things that are so hard for them, but then they come out with these wonderful surprises.

Best Vacation Ever!

2009-12-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

First of all, I would like to thank my sister, Riley, for making our Thanksgiving vacation imaginable, and then making it a great success. It was our first trip that was not a visit to relatives or a hurricane evacuation. We drove about four hours to San Antonio, stayed in a family-friendly Hilton, and spent a day at SeaWorld.

The twins get so loud at night at home that I couldn't imagine staying in a hotel with them. I figured worse come to worse, I would drive them around in the van if necessary. But zipping them into individual tents and putting a DVD on "repeat play" did the trick. There was a lot of quiet singing, but nothing that would disturb anyone.

The first day was a little tough with B., who was very excited about the Christmas tree in the lobby, and did a total flop on the floor and kept "combat crawling" back towards it as I tried to drag him away. When he did get to it, he was very fast about taking glittery ornaments off and chewing on them. My sister was good at quickly child-proofing the hotel room, which mostly meant putting almost everything on top of the TV cabinet. I was happy to find that the Hilton securely bolts all of the artwork to the wall. G. was entertained for a long time by washing his hands in the bathroom sink and even said "Wash hands" over and over to himself. It was only after a while that I realized he was also washing his hands in the toilet bowl.

The big hit, other than Sea World itself, were the outdoor heated pools. Not many people braved them, but we really got our money's worth. At night the hotel lit a bunch of outdoor fire pits and many kids were out there roasting marshmallows (we didn't include the twins on that one). SeaWorld was interesting, uncrowded and pretty well-designed for a family with two giant jogging strollers. They have a huge playground with climbing nets, a pirate ship and big slides. The boys, Dad and my sister loved it, but I have to admit it gave me vertigo. I thought I might have to be rescued off of one of the big nets.

Maybe I'll write more about the vacation later, but I've got to go.

To blog or not to blog

2009-11-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

I have not intentionally given up blogging. We are simply at a point where living our lives is taking up all of our energy. There is progress going on, and there is also a lot of poop, peanut butter, toothpaste, urine and other stuff to clean up. We are having lots of fun in general, but it's a very energetic type of fun! Lots of chasing boys across soccer fields, through Target, and so forth.

I always wondered what would happen when they got too big for strollers and shopping carts and now I know. I like to think my cardio vascular health must be getting great.

Hope to return to blogging before too long.

B. and his Laptop

2009-07-14T14:24:00.000-07:00

Back when he was only two, B was fascinated by letters, and would sit with alphabet blocks, quietly naming the letters to himself. Since then he hasn't shown as much interest, but in the past week he's fallen in love with an alphabet toy we've had for over a year. Yesterday morning he woke up calling out "Q! Q!", followed by wild laughter. I'm so happy to see him playing with a toy.

Update

2009-05-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

I haven't written a blog post since April?? What's been going on? I have been lurking a lot, but not even commenting much.

One thing has been that B. can now scale anything, and also get himself back down. Unfortunately his preferred way of descending tends to be head first. Luckily, a slow, controlled headfirst descent. Our child-proofing has not kept up with his leap in gross motor skills, hence the lack of blogging.
Then I went through a very, very anxious stage, which included worse than usual insomnia (and I am a dyed-in-the-wool life=long insomniac). Not a good combination. I think it was the end of the school year, combined with early peri-menopause, but I still don't really know what was happening.

Things are better now, well, the climbing isn't better, but I'm getting used to it. J. is registered for kindergarten, and is taking swimming lessons--something I've been trying to get to for a long time. G. is his usual self, and seems to be learning to read a lot of sight words. He's been getting more affectionate lately, in the form of pressing his forehead into mine and touching my face. Sometimes he smells me, too, which I like to think of as an expression of affection. It feels like it to me.

So if I can keep the anxiety at bay, things are going fairly well.

Name that Tune

2009-04-28T20:11:00.000-07:00

G's latest occupation: holding a number placemat and singing first "This Old Man" (one to ten) and then "There were ten in the bed and the little one said, Roll over" (ten back down to one). He has found the ultimate, never-ending song!

Our college student who comes in the afternoons is out of town, and my sanity is already a fragile thing. I am plotting to go to every store which has the carts which will hold two or three kids (Target, HEB, Randalls, there must be more). I've been working hard on getting them to walk with me in public, but I still need a "strapping in" option when I've got all three of them. It feels so strange to me that I can't take my kids out by myself. When they were younger and slower-moving, I could, but these days it's just not safe. Everyone tells me this will get easier, and I just have to assume they are right!

Dr's Visit

2009-04-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

I took B. into the pediatrician today to get a vaccination. We split them up by a few months this year, not because I think vaccines caused their autism, but just because ??? Who knows? It just felt like a good thing to do.

Our pediatrician is finally back in the original office, after months of repairs from Hurrican Ike. As far as I can tell, they spent a huge chunk of the insurance money on the mother of all fish tanks. They've always had a tiny one, and the only interest B. has shown in it was watching the bubbles rise.

Well, today he could not stop bouncing around and staring at it. Then I realized he was saying, "Goldfish, goldfish, what do you see?" (from the book Brown Bear, Brown Bear, by Eric Carle, which G. recites in its entirety frequently throughout the day). I was so excited, because B. never used to show that he was noticing things in the environment, not to mention knew their names! I kept smiling proudly, as he jumped around the waiting room. Other people looked uncomfortable, and didn't meet my eye, and I can see that he was acting weird, in terms of usual waiting room behavior. But I was so happy!
Then, when the nurse was about to give him the shot, she said "One, two, three...", and he said in the saddest little voice, "four, five, six". He also slapped her hand when she said "give me five", and said "bye, bye" when I asked him to. I was walking around with a goofy grin for an hour or so afterward, I'm sure.

Calmer Times

2009-04-06T19:43:00.000-07:00

First of all, a picture of J. and his best friend-- also adopted internationally, and every bit as silly as J.
My last post summed up how I feel at many times...overwhelmed and hoping for some kind of a break. Tonight I'm feeling more positive, probably because I've gotten out of the house quite a lot in the last week. Friday night I played Bunco (or Bonko, as J. refers to it, which I prefer) and this evening I went to hear a speaker on parent advocacy.

It was my second time subbing with this Bonko group, and I'm glad I gave it another chance. Last time I was very, very sleep-deprived, to the point where even the mindless game of Bunko seemed too hard to follow. This time I was only tired to the point of silly goofiness, so It worked out better. I did not talk about autism for the entire evening, and I think that was really good for me.

Having my younger sister visit was also a wonderful break. We took the kids to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo (not the rodeo part). There were all sorts of animals, but the most popular events with the boys were sitting in new Ford pick-ups, and riding the merry-go-round. Hooray for sisters who visit even when you move all the way across the country!! My other sister is planning a visit in August, so there is another glimmer of hope for my sanity.

Respite!

2009-03-11T19:33:00.000-07:00

Today I had a migraine, and all I could think (besides thank God for the college student who helps us out in the afternoon) as I lay in bed with my head under a pillow was that I really, really need to get away.

My sister is coming to visit next week, which will really help. But how do you get away when you have twins who aren't potty-trained, will put anything in their mouths, climb the furniture, don't usually respond to their names? My husband is not used to watching all three of them, or I'd sneak away for a day or two.

I must brain-storm about this, because I think things are getting harder, as far as caring for the twins. They can say more, they notice more, and they can do more, which includes climbing over safety gates, opening the fridge and, well, I'm sure you know what I'm getting at. Mommy is getting a little loopy, here!

Just to illustrate, here's a picture of the attempt to take a group photo at the twins' birthday party. Some ASD kids made it into the photo, but neither of the twins!

And in other news...

2009-03-03T20:26:00.000-08:00

To balance out the disappointing preschool stuff, I should mention that both boys are making unprecedented progress at home and ABA. Yesterday the ABA therapists said that they'd tried G. on matching words to pictures, and he seemed to get it. He won't do picture-matching tasks-- we think he just doesn't see the point. They also started working on writing letters. When they originally tried to get him to trace letters, he got very upset, I guess because it was messing up a perfectly good letter. But writing his own letter isn't so upsetting, or so we hope!

B. is singing up a storm. He is stuck on the line "the mommies on the bus go "shush, shush, shush", for whatever reason (??), and he also keeps repeating "I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas". Either one of those things would have seemed impossible a few months ago. And with some encouragement, he'll point to the sentence strips I have around the kitchen and mutter, "Wan nuk (milk), peezh" or "Wanna cookie". That is really, really amazing for me to hear.

A Post-It note's worth of progress? Really?

2009-03-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

I don't think I've written much about pre-school experience. We took B. out of the program in December, after he actually regressed and became aggressive. we left G. in, and he seemed to enjoy it, although his IEP progress reports read "minimal progress" in all areas, while he was talking and spelling and such at home.

I hate conflict, so I've complained behind the teacher's back, mostly. My impression of her so far have been summed up by the phrase "phoning it in". I've decided I'm fed up.

I emailed last week and asked if she could tell me of some areas in which G. had made progress this year. I heard nothing back, so I emailed again, asking if she had received the first email. She wrote back saying she'd been very busy, and she'd send a note home.

Today I got a Post-it note, yes, a Post-It note, saying that he is sitting better with the group and attending. Also he is doing great with his letters.

This is a boy who knew all his letters, letter sounds and could put his letters in order before PPCD started in the fall!

Ay, yi, yi. Anyway, she is recommending that he go to the summer school program, and I am recommending that he not go. I know this is Texas, but is this really the best they can do?

Checking In

2009-02-26T20:41:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I seem to have abandoned this blog! There just doesn't seem to be time.

All the boys are doing well. B. can answer the question "What is your name?", provided the asker is holding an Oreo cookie, or something equally appealing. Most of the time he says, "What is your name...B.", but it is so cute, who could quibble?

J. is five! He is a pleasure to converse with these days, and seems to have hit the "why" stage a few years later than some other kids. Really complicated why questions, that have me stammering and trying to explain the concept of re-incarnation or gravity or some such thing.

G. is interested in the movie Cars. He comes up to me and says, "Do you want Cars?...Yes, yes", with lots of head-nodding. This is big progress for him. We had finally gotten J. out of his Cars obsession, and here we are again.

I am making a disorganized attempt at potty-training both twins. That may be the real reason for my absence from the blogosphere. I am going on blind faith that some day, some how, the twins will actually use the potty as it is intended to be used.

A Thanksgiving of Firsts

2008-11-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had the best Thanksgiving we've had since we've had kids.
We started out at the Houston Zoo, where the big "first" was that both twins spent most of the time holding our hands and walking (!) Also, we all rode the merry-go-round together, with no tantrums, panic-attacks, crying, etc.-- just lots of smiles and sitting up, and only a little chewing on the merry-go-round equipment. It all felt like a normal, fun family outing, and less like a desperate attempt to have a fun family outing.

Next I made a sweet potato casserole. Making it was fun, but it turned out more like a dessert than a casserole. Not too healthy unless they discover the life-extending effects of two sticks of butter very soon.

Finally we actually went to a Thanksgiving get-together with a bunch of friends from my husband's work. For the last few years we've had quiet Thanksgivings at home, but this year I was determined to change things up. The only other child there also has autism, and had brought many alphabet-related items, so the living room was filled with boys looking at letters for a good part of the evening. It was great to see people I hadn't seen in a while, laugh, eat too much and relax. J. had a nice time with a box of space-shuttle type toys, and also experimented on the piano. I wondered what he thought of the evening, having been the only "NT" child there, but as we drove off he announced, "I had a lot of fun. Let's go back soon".

A Mom Milestone

2008-11-23T17:56:00.001-08:00

Last night I spent more than an hour in Barnes and Noble, and did NOT read any books in the Special Needs section! I walked past it and thought to myself, "No, I'm going to go find something else". I ended up with Learning to Bow: Inside the Heart of Japan, by Bruce S. Feiler. I've just started it, so I can't say much about it yet.

I also went into the music section and listened to various CD's. It was a nice, relaxing night.

Si se puede!

2008-11-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

I spent election day with a lump in my stomach. Living in Houston, Texas, where Obama yard signs were stolen on a regular basis, I just couldn't imagine that the US could elect Obama. Watching the returns, I felt a bit hopeful, and then after they announced Ohio, my husband started celebrating, and my dad called, but I still didn't believe it.

The day after the election I kept getting teary-eyed with happiness. I feel as if I'm still coasting on the good feelings. I know he's got a lot of work to do, but I'm just so, so happy.

"Give Me a Cookie"

2008-10-25T14:34:00.001-07:00

Lately we've been listening to CD's from the "Bounce" Collection (Spectrum Connections). The songs invariably get stuck in my head, which I guess is the point, because yesterday G. looked at me and said, "Give me a cookie". That's a direct quote from a Bounce song, and he said it just after I had said, "No more cookies. You just brushed your teeth." I almost fainted when he said a sentence, and you better believe he got a cookie!

Adoption Celebration

2008-10-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

For whatever reason, increased focus on the potty has meant decreased blog-reading and blogging for me. B. continues to surprise me with his toileting successes, although I still have to be happy with peeing/pooping in the general potty vicinity. In the morning when he's still dazed, things go where they're supposed to, but once he's awake, it's literally hit-or-miss.

Yesterday was the four-year anniversary of J. joining our family! We took him out to one of those hibachi-table Japanese restaurants. We'd been there with friends, and thought J. would enjoy the silly patter and the showmanship of the chef. Unfortunately, we ended up with the first scary/cranky/clumsy hibachi chef we've ever met. I think he was trying hard, but he kept addressing J. in a gruff voice as "Boy", and J. looked a little nervous most of the time. He still enjoyed it, probably because he rarely gets to go out with just the two of us. He kept saying "Let's talk about Barack Obama and John McCain!" and "Let's talk about the debate!" I think it was part of the fun of being out with the grown-ups. It was hard to keep a conversation about the debate going for long, but he tried.
The first picture we ever saw of J. (at three months old)

J. last month in Austin (we are so lucky to have this sweetie in our lives!):

Potty Training

2008-10-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

I don't want to jinx this, but I'm getting more serious about potty training, starting with B.
I put a portable DVD player on the edge of the bathtub, and let B. sit on the potty watching it. Yesterday he peed twice, and today even had a poop! I have to admit, only one of these events actually ended up going into the potty. But it was all very, very close to the toilet, and I'm seeing that as a big step in the right direction.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of life at our house, I end up leaving him alone sometimes, and when I return, things are not always good. I'll spare you the details, but I will say that the DVD player may not smell as nice as it once did.

I'm trying to tell myself that even if this is one of those blips of progress that disappears again for months, it means that someday this really will happen.

2008-09-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

A friend of J's generously invited all three boys to her party at the Little Gym. It was so much fun, and completely exhausting. I brought along our sitter, and I don't think I would have survived it without her. I know the entire box of cupcakes would have hit the floor if she hadn't been there, courtesy of G. As it was, he only managed to take the birthday girl's cupcake right off her plate!

Each boy tried all the equipment. The twins actually seemed interested in Duck, Duck, Goose, and really went wild when they brought out the giant parachute. That was the most physically exhausting part for me, because B. wanted to be on or under the parachute at all the wrong times. Our sitter is only twenty, and she looked completely wiped out by the end. She asked me why they didn't provide caffeine for the adults I had a similar thought, but it was more along the lines of a nice glass of wine.

Disaster Fatigue

2008-09-27T19:45:00.001-07:00

"Disaster Fatigue" was a headline in the Austin paper while we were still there. People around here definitely have it.

The biggest problem for me right now is that every big intersection is a four-way stop (all the traffic lights were blown down). Very gradually, the lights are being fixed, but after days of making our way tentatively through four-way stop after four-way stop, Houston drivers are confused, and I think every one of us has stopped at a green light, or driven ahead at a red light. They even mentioned the phenomenon on the news.

I feel as if I could find some analogy for life with autism in this, if I had had more sleep. Or maybe not! If traffic lights are the biggest problem, things must be improving.

The Catalog that will make me rich, Part I

2008-09-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

I keep saying I'm going to start a catalog for families of kids with autism. My catalog won't have any items to help you cure your child. The focus will be on getting your family through those tough days (and nights)

My ideas so far:

Self-Cleaning Mini-Van: Using a dishwasher style mechanism, this van will fill with hot water and detergent at 1:00 every night, swish around for twenty minutes, then drain and dry itself

Mini-Van Febreze Mist: Every time you lock the doors of your mini-van, a fine mist of Febreze is dispensed from the ceiling.

One-piece pajamas, available in any size (if you don't know why you would need these, thank your lucky stars)

Vitamin fortified Play-Doh, crayons and watercolor paints (for the extremely picky eater who for whatever reason loves to devour art supplies)

Putting things back together

2008-09-21T14:38:00.000-07:00

We're back in Houston, but things are not quite back to normal. Some things actually feel like an improvement. Everyone's fences are down, and neighbors wander from yard to yard, talking and helping each other out. Half of our neighborhood still doesn't have power, so we swap laundry, baby-sitting and chances to sit in an air-conditioned house.

The Little Gym near us opened up for free open-play sessions, so the twins finally got to experience gymnastics. We went two days in a row, which really helped out. School is out for another week, due to power outages and flooding.

The grocery store smells really, really bad (a little like our mini-van on occasion...think sour milk mixed with a couple of mystery smells). It is gradually getting re-stocked, and is very uncrowded. B. and I had a nice shopping trip today. B. is a real pleasure to shop with. He sits in the cart with a huge grin on his face.

We all feel so lucky that for us Ike has mostly been a long series of inconveniences. And a lot of really great moments, as guilty as I feel to admit it.
Here's one of the nice moments-- G. was trying his first ice cream cone:

No longer a vacation

2008-09-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

Well, we are still here in Dripping Springs, and that vacation feeling has pretty much evaporated. Our power is still not on at home, and while Houston's water has been declared drinkable, our town's water is not.

On the upside:
Away from home, the twins are slightly more adventurous eaters: B. has eaten an apple and a banana, and chewed then spit out some PB and J.

what, what, what??! My husband just walked in and said a neighbor called to say our power is on. Hooray...I must go pack!

The family we are staying with are definitely getting a giant karma boost for everything they've done the past week. If for any reason Austin someday has to evacuate, and Houston is a safe haven, they will always have a place to go.

After Ike

2008-09-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

Despite my cavalier attitude (aka denial), Ike was a real hurricane, as anyone who has a TV knows by now. Our house is okay, but we haven't returned due to lack of power, and now lack of good drinking water. Hopefully going home tomorrow. Everyone I've been in touch with came through okay, with just some damage to their homes. We are very grateful that our neighbors and friends didn't get hit too hard. I feel especially bad for those people who are just barely making it financially, and then get hit with this. Luckily, on the post-Katrina Gulf Coast, aid arrives a lot more quickly than it used to.

Mini-vacation

2008-09-12T11:11:00.001-07:00

We had a dream of an evacuation--no traffic, beautiful weather, cactus and cattle-spotting for J.

Now we are safely ensconsed in the town of Dripping Springs, TX, outside of Austin. Deer wander through the backyard, hummingbirds buzz around the feeder, and "Mom to JBG" is more relaxed than I have been in months. G. is showing signs of home-sickness for the first time, but it comes and goes. The other two boys are in heaven.

This would all be a great vacation if I weren't worried about the people whose homes are right on the coast, and people who may not be able to evacuate. The storm is only a category 2, but for some reason it is causing a record-breaking storm surge. Our house was in a mandatory evacuation zone, but i don't expect it to flood.

Back to my mini-break, as Bridget Jones would say.

Evacuating

2008-09-10T22:58:00.000-07:00

We are all packed, and planning to get up at 4 AM and leave. Hurrican Ike may not be too bad, and isn't aiming straight for Houston, but people are in moderate panic mode.

My sister is visiting from the Boston area, and has a pretty good attitude, considering that she's about to leave town in the wee hours with a family of five and a dog. The twins will probably love the whole trip, but J. is not happy when his routine is disrupted. The family we are going to see has a sixth grader, and I'm hoping he'll take J. under his wing.

I am going to bed and, I hope, sleep!

A little about B.

2008-09-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

Today we had the little boy from next door over. B. seemed to be following him around somewhat. Then, three different times, B. picked up a paper hat that J. had made in Pre-K, and put it on the neighbor boy's head. He has never, ever done anything like this! After that he lost interest, but I keep thinking about it.

I feel so excited about this and I have to admit, I needed a pick-me-up in that department. Seeing the other kids in the twins' PPCD class, I am realizing how easily this type of thing would come to all those kids. In that class, the twins seem so, so far behind socially. But I try to remember how cuddly B. can be with adults, and how he'll look into my eyes and smile. I love him just as he is, but once in a while I get a jolt of reality when I see other kids, even kids with special needs. Can't think of any wise insight to end this post, but he is always the sweetest boy (along with his brothers) that I can imagine.

Ordinary Life

2008-09-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting much. We've been having uneventful days, which is nice.

J. had a friend over to play this afternoon. They were acting out the "tractor-tipping" scene of the movie Cars (if an NT child can be said to perseverate, then J. definitely perseverates about Cars). G. was watching the two boys, which is very unusual in itself, and then he started to laugh and laugh. J. and his friend were running around, moo-ing, falling down, honking and generally doing the four-year-old boy thing. I was so happy to see G. laughing at them. He'll laugh at Baby Einstein puppets or Pingu the penguin, but never (before) actual kids.

We've been having other children over a lot lately, and I think I see enjoyment in both the twins' eyes. It's subtle, but it's real.

2008-08-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

What's happening today:

- thinking about having a Gustav-inspired evacuation drill to our friends' house in Austin. It doesn't seem to be heading toward us, but we can't forget the 25-hour Rita evacuation nightmare.

- today the twins walked into and out of school under their own power (granted I did park in the handicapped spot, but it's still progress!)

-the para-professional is my new best buddy--walked us to the car, gave me details about their day, etc. Talked to the teacher briefly, but not enough. Must remedy this situation!

- J. seems to have a nice bunch of kids in his Pre-K class this year. Apparently his teacher had a very tough class last year and they are trying to give her a break. I'm glad that having J. in a class is considered a "break".

- most exciting of all: got to talk on the phone with one of my heroes, Susan Senator!

School Days

2008-08-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

This week the twins started PPCD on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Tuesdays and Thursdays are still ABA.

The teacher hasn't responded to my email or phone call asking how it's going...I think she's a little overwhelmed. She's very competent-seeming and warm in person.
So all we have to go on are the two words B. kept saying after his first day..."Careful!!" and "Shick!" We understand "careful" (B. is quite the climber and acrobat), but we are wondering about shick. We think there might be another final consonant sound. The paraprofessional looked as if she might cry after escorting the two of them to the front of the school where I pick them up. They are very good at flopping to the floor and staying completely limp when you try to coax them.

By Wednesday the school had decided I should park in a handicapped spot and come get the boys at their classroom. I had had visions of PPCD finally teaching them to walk well from place to place, but so far they actually walk better for me than for the teacher or aide. It's just the first week, so I still have high hopes for the walking thing.

I'm glad we are still doing ABA, so I mostly think of PPCD as a chance to be in a group of other kids. The other kids are so sweet, and for the most part pretty social, which I'm thrilled about. The special ed director wanted to bus them to another school with a smaller class, but I'm hoping this one will work out. I do think they need another aide. Right now it's seven children with one teacher and one aide (possibly the source of our new word, "shick"). I'm in constant communication with the special ed. director due to my stubborn-ness about keeping them in ABA. And to think that in some states the school districts actually provides ABA! It's as if we were in another decade from the east coast. I send all my communications in bulleted-lists, trying to make the impression that I'm a parent who has a lawyer on retainer. At the same time I try to be diplomatic, because I might actually want to teach in this district again.

I'm being paged by J. to lie down and help him sleep. Tomorrow is his Pre-K meet=the-teacher day, and he's got a bit of the jitters.

Hopeing PPCD will turn out to be helpful. But why hasn't the teacher returned my email or phone call. Tomorrow I am dropping them off at the classroom door, and I'm going to ask her to call me. Now I'm off to snuggle with J.

Companies that have saved my tushy

2008-08-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

I usually save my product testimonials for Signing Time, but today I have two other companies I need to thank:

Essential Whites (makers of size 4T onesies)

and

CARES airplane harnesses

The first company has helped my guys make it through the night in a diaper and also helps G. keeps his hands out of his pants, all day long. Sorry to be so blunt, but it was really getting to be a problem.

The second company has helped us on our flights to New York. We are officially growing out of them at this point, but they worked great while it lasted.

I may add some cute pictures at a later time!

Vacation Pics

2008-08-16T20:12:00.000-07:00

My husband is en route to Iceland, school is about to start, and I'm thinking fondly of our vacation.

(apologies to my sister for posting a picture of her eating, but it's just so sweet)

Mission Accomplished

2008-07-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

We are back, and it all went well. There is one Hertz mini-van that will never be quite the same, and one seat on a 737 (D30, to be exact) which had to be "swapped out", but the whole family is thriving.

J. got to catch fireflies, the twins swam in freezing cold NY water, everyone rode on the Bear Mountain carousel and a good time was had by all. My father-in-law was briefly back in the hospital, but is now in the nursing home and hoping to go home in a week or so.

Taking to the air again!

2008-07-23T13:58:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow we;re doing it again: flying from Texas to New York. We have a laptop, a portable DVD player and an iPod, so I'm hopeful that the flight will go smoothly. The hardest time is sitting in our seats, waiting for the plane to get moving. I bought out the Baby-Einstein themed chew toys at Target for B. For G., I printed out pictures of the Wiggles, Barney, Pingu, Bob the Builder and a few other characters and covered them with packing-tape (poor man's lamination). J. should be fine with Spiderman, Batman and a contingent of ocean animals. Judging from last time, my role will be crawling around on the floor of the plane, retrieving things.

My father-in-law recently had surgery for intestinal cancer, and is recovering in a nursing home. We are hoping to cheer him up with our energetic (chaotic) presence. G. is in an interesting period-- he does not want to pee or poop in a diaper, but has zero interest in the potty. Our carpet is not doing well. My mother-in-law has had four kids and a bunch of grandkids, so she's already seen it all, I'm hoping.

We're going to meet up with my parents at a state park for a picnic one day. I can't wait! Last time I talked to them they had been on a tour of a retirement village, the kind which includes assisted living and a nursing home. My dad was concerned that there was nowhere to store his canoes and bicycles. Things are always changing, and I am still focusing on appreciating each day and its little miracles.

Time for the Happy Dance!

2008-07-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

From Saturday til today, G. has

- hugged J. spontaneously

- pulled J. up from the floor by the hand

- taken J. by both hands and done a little "circle dance" (twice)

It makes tears come to my eyes just to type this.

G. looks very serious in this clip, but I suppose he's way out of his comfort zone!

Staying Busy

2008-07-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

Overall, we are having a great summer in terms of progress...G. is using phrases, and repeating a lot of what he hears. B. is using more and more single words to make requests, and singing snatches of songs. Both of them have been more engaged than they had been six months ago (this always comes and go...the going still has the power to put me in a tailspin!)

J. can pedal his bike, has new friends next door and is learning by leaps and bounds.

This may go along with the language progress, but we are having more problems with kids "getting into things". It's mostly B., and it's mostly getting into the bathroom, to be specific. In the last three days I have found him sitting on the edge of the toilet with his feet in the water, another time on the counter with his feet in the sink, and (this is a new one), standing in the bathroom sink, looking in the mirror. Of course, the simple answer is to keep the bathroom closed, but in our house we don't always manage it (think four year old brother, and forty-something scatter-brained mom).

He is also very interested in toothpaste, toothbrushes, markers, pens, and crayons, and any container of liquid he can get his hands on. I was chatting with a neighbor the other day, and B. lay down on his tummy to drink out of a puddle.

In the blogs I read, I don't notice a lot of descriptions of these kinds of escapades. I'm sure they must be going on in many homes, but maybe those moms have trouble getting to the computer to blog.

Most of the time, B. is just so darned cute that these things seem funny (although the germiness factor is troubling). If any of the three or so people who read this blog have been through this stage and come out the other side, I'd love to hear about it!

On the town

2008-06-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we attended a party for a friend's son. He is also on the spectrum, although more mildly affected than our guys. He has just started talking, and it was great to hear him spouting out words all afternoon.

I'd say our family livened up the party: the only two instances of nudity were thanks to us (and one of those was J) Once he was dressed again, G. spent most of the time with the Leapfrog letters which were on the fridge (and the floor eventually).

For the first time I can remember, B. recognized a cake, and let us know he wanted some by saying "cake" very clearly. He also ate with a spoon (!) until my back was turned at which point he attacked a piece with his hands.
This is me trying to contain him as the cake is cut:

J. did a great job the whole time. The next day (Father's Day), J. and his dad bonded over Lego for hours. They built a Mars rover together, and played with it endlessly, like two peas in a pod.

About that last picture...

2008-06-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to clarify that in the picture below, B. is standing on his head and resting his foot on the chair. It might look as if he's falling onto his head, and I don't want you to think I'd post a picture of that!

Both he and G. have been seeking deep pressure to their heads lately. B. comes up with inventive ways to do it himself. G. comes up to me and rubs his head and whimpers, and then I give him some head rubs and he's happy.

Also, B said his first original (almost, it was prompted) two word phrase: "want cookie"!! And yesterday in Toys R Us he sang the entire Wonder Pets theme!

Summertime

2008-06-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

A few posts ago I mentioned the feeling that we were flunking out of ABA. Despite the stated plan to work only on eye contact and pointing, we are still chugging along and making some progress.

At home, G. is always saying new phrases, and B. is babbling and singing all day long. J. is interested in Kung Fu Panda (a movie I hope he doesn't see for a few years!) He can't remember the name and calls it various things. My favorite was "Punch Fruit Panda".

J. is also interested in Knock Knock jokes. He can successfully tell the "Dwayne the bathtub I'm drowning" one, but his other favorite is

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Knock Knock
Who's there?

Repeated numerous times, and finally ending with

Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Back at home

2008-06-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

The trip to Rhode Island went well. All my worries were for naught, although there was one phone call home when my husband sounded like he might either cry or fall asleep at any second.

Block Island was beautiful, my friends were as funny and relaxing as always, and I hope we will do it all again next year. It was the strangest feeling to be able to sit around, with a glass of wine in my hand and just chat.

B. actually expressed the most emotion about my being home. He sat in my lap and gave me a long list of his grievances, or that's what it sounded like he was doing. Several times the first evening I was home, he started to cry and wasn't happy unless I held him. All three boys looked taller than I remembered them, and J. seemed to have matured in the five days I was gone.

It was good for me to find out that the family can survive without me for five and a half days. And it is very, very, very good to be home!

The "chicas con sombreros", exhausted but happy, waiting for our ferry:

Two Days til the Big Trip

2008-05-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

Two days to go...I'm almost ready to leave for my "Broads' Retreat" on Block Island. I am so nervous about leaving the boys, but so, so, so ready to see my old friends and have "girl time". we haven't gone away since the year before we adopted J., so we are very overdue.

My sister is here, learning the ropes. (Thank you a million times, Sis). My little Sister will actually be on the retreat.

We are in the grip of a serious alphabet obsession, so I leave you with one of my favorite phonics videos from the PBS show "Between the Lions". It takes me back to the music of my college years.

Sloppy Pop

Applied Behavioral What?

2008-05-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

I was going to call this post "Flunking out of ABA", but it was tongue in cheek, and I don't feel all that glum about it.

After a surge in imitating words from B., ABA hasn't yielded many noticeable results lately. Outside of ABA, both boys are doing well. G. is using little phrases here and there ("come on, Mom", "My turn", etc) The phrases are echoed from DVD's, but he uses them appropriately! He was in a phase of reciting entire Backyardigans episodes, mostly in his own jargon. That was getting old, but he seems to be moving out of it.

B. is progressing in his own way, at his own pace. He knows what he wants more than he used to, and he notices other kids more, and he is great about being affectionate.

Now to the flunking out of ABA part. G. has had them stumped from the beginning. G. knows his letters, numbers, colors, shapes and so on, but he was not going to do a thing for the ABA therapists. Nada. Every week, the head therapist would tell me some new approach they were trying with him, to the point that we joked about it at home. B. tries hard, but imitation is not his thing right now(oh, those mirror neurons!), so he has them stumped, too.
Lately the ABA center keeps scaling back on what they are working on with both boys. Each week they cut back on something. Last week they decided not to work on motor imitation anymore because they are "not ready" for it (fine with me, it was just stressing them out). Then they decided not to focus on fine motor skills. Okay. Today they said they are going to try to make them "feel successful" and really reinforce eye contact and pointing. For three hours? That's a lot of eye contact and pointing.

The therapists themselves are wonderful and warm. But I have to say, I don't know how long we are going to stick with this G. learns things on his own, no matter what we do. B. has definitely gotten something out of the ABA, so I'm more willing to send him for longer.
I'm formulating some questions for the lead therapist, but deep down I'm relieved that ABA is not the be-all and end-all for us. For whatever reason, the twins learn more by playing at home than they do at any therapy we've tried. We do a mix of sensory integration, hanging out, being silly, going to playgrounds, watching movies and goofing off. We eat a lot of gluten and casein. And starting in the fall...preschool. We are going through with it this time! Really, I mean it.

I'm glad we are giving the ABA a try, and I think we'll stick with it through the summer. Part of each week, and the rest of it will be the usual summertime business.

Alphabetical order, hoopdeedoo style

2008-05-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

G. loves to name the letters, but had never tried to put them in order. Here's his first shot (It starts in the middle, goes right, then left, and then skips back to the far right):

And one more sleeping picture, this time with the dog.

You can see from these photos that even when your only criterion for choosing a carpet is dirt-hiding capability, you can only do so much. :)

J goes into business

2008-05-04T13:43:00.000-07:00

Won't even try to explain my lack of blogging...

Ever since a family with five kids moved in next door, J's life has changed. He's over there, they are over here, we're all playing in the front yard (only possible when one twin is asleep or I have an extra grown up). J. is in heaven.

Today he has spent the entire day helping them sell lemonade, and he cannot stop smiiing.

Knock on Wood

2008-04-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

I feel superstitious about blogging this...is it real?

B. is having a mini language explosion. He is using words to ask for things, usually repeating what he has just heard, but also saying things spontaneously, some of the time. In the past he has sporadically come out with surprising things ("kite!", "clothes", "boy" and so on). This is much more consistent, and he is saying the words to us, rather than to himself.

He's excited about his new powers, and wants to be able to do more. He'll come up to me and "talk" in a perfect imitation of the dog from Blue's Clues. I talk back to him the same way, and we have happy little exchanges with all the intonation of English, but no actual words.

Sending out a big thank you to the universe!

Thinking about Exhaling

2008-03-19T19:36:00.000-07:00

At the twins' eighteen month check-up, a little light went off in my head which said "autism". The first month after realizing this was the hardest, partly because no one believed me. Feeling sure that I was right, I went into a flurry of researching, reading, and generally freaking out. By the time they turned two, no one tried to argue. The last year and a half or so, i've often thought of my state of mind as "waiting to exhale" The phrase comes from the novel by Terry McMillan, which I read in the early nineties. My life is so different from the women in her novel, but the title exactly fit the feeling I had.

For the first year, I threw myself into Floortime, combined with what I could figure out about Sensory Integration. I put all kinds of pressure on myself (and the rest of the family), trying to create "circles of interaction". G. seemed to respond, and B. remained ever-cheerful and pretty much happily self-absorbed. Finding the Signing Time DVD series jump-started our communication, and gave me more hope, but I was still worried and driven.

That whole time, I never relaxed, never stopped spending every day wondering if I was interacting enough, engaging them enough, should I be doing GFCF, etc. I'm still this way, some of the time, but I feel...like I'm thinking about exhaling.

I don't know if it's turning three or starting at the new ABA center, but the twins are changing. G. is talking and making connections (he looked at a little CD player, glanced at me and asked "Telephone?" B. is showing interest in activities (coloring, painting, looking at books), and is repeating all sorts of words to get what he wants. More importantly, he is seeking us out for attention (which he used to do a couple of years ago). In G., it's a speeding-up of his usual learning style. In B. it's sometimes a subtle change, but a really, really nice one.

The twins have always been sweet and wonderful. And now it's great to have the experience of "When did he start doing that??" with them--that feeling of realizing they are growing up, and you don't know if you are ready. I feel it all the time with J., and now I'm beginning to think it about all three of them.

Moving right along

2008-02-22T15:33:00.000-08:00

Haven't been posting because I've been interacting with live people (grown-ups, specifically) more than usual. Can't seem to fit both the blogosphere and real-live adults into my life at the same time!

I'm feeling very good about keeping the twins home. They are still doing ABA and OT. G. is taking off with language, and is seriously obsessed with letters, numbers and colors.

B. has been saying some new words ("cook" is one of them, which makes no sense in this household, unless he's suggesting that I try it sometime) Also "ice cream", a word everyone should learn as early as possible. Today I was trying to get him to say "baby" to request a Baby Einstein DVD, and he said "Signing Time". That one knocked my socks off.

J. is very, very interested in Spiderman, although he still secretly likes Disney princesses. He is trying to write his name, which is fun. He is also determined to get the twins to play with him. He can get them to laugh, by lying on them and putting his face right up to theirs.

Keeping my Boys at Home a little longer

2008-02-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks I've been having trouble sleeping, feeling uneasy without a real reason, knowing something was bothering me.

Last Thursday, as I walked the dog through the dark neighborhood, i admitted what was wrong. i didn't feel right about sending the twins to preschool. It came down to the ratio--one teacher and one aide to work with seven boys with autism. I like the teacher, I liked the IEP goals, but I don't think those numbers make sense. Therapists who work with my boys individually sometimes seem "challenged"!

Once I knew what was wrong, I knew what I had to do. It was embarrassing calling on a Friday to say that the twins wouldn't be starting on Monday, but who cares? If I learned anything from all these evaluations, and therapies, it's that my gut instincts are usually right.

We are going to get a few more ABA hours each week and hopefully a second OT session, but mostly things will stay the same. I get to be with my sweet boys, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.